I have no words, but all I have is words
by zunguzungu
The United States has a choice of two wrong ways to approach what’s happening in Egypt right now: to intervene or to try to stay neutral. And the ability to do either, honorably, is denied to us. The former because we are far too compromised by decades of being on the wrong side to be able to intervene in any positive way. But neither can we remain neutral, and for the same reason: we’ve been Mubarak’s patron, ally, and geopolitical bed-mate for far too long to pretend that we’re not. To be silent or passive — while the US government’s ties with the security apparatus of Mubarak’s regime continue to define the political landscape — is complicity. None of this is Barack Obama’s doing, exactly — or ours — but he’s the guy that wanted to be president, and we’re the people that want to use the word “citizen of the United States” to describe ourselves. We have to deal with that. We have to use that “we.”
I’ll have more words in the next day or so on the choices that are being taken, and on the words we’re using to make them meaningful. Always more words. But for now, I want to remind myself, publicly, that the closest thing to an honorable choice that American citizens like me have is to bear witness and solidarity to the incredibly thing that is happening right now, and to do so as humbly and reverently as we are able to do. The world is changing before us, and we will need new words to describe it if we are to be true to the best parts of ourselves, and if we are to be of any use to a world that we might still find a way to be of use to. We need to learn to listen more clearly. We have corrupted the words we were so proud of inheriting, words like “democracy,” and we need to be a lot better to learn the new words that are being coined right now, in places of which even our own ignorance is something of an unknown quantity to us, and in voices that speak, for example, in languages we don’t understand.
Mainly, I know, I need to be reverent right now, if only for myself. I am under no illusions that it will do the people of Egypt any particular good for me to retweet links to articles and images and expressions of the righteous human spirit so gloriously on display in Egypt right now — much as I would like it to — but that’s not really why I’ve been doing it. It’s selfish. It is for me, because it’s what I need to do as a person whose spiritual body has gotten very hungry. I want to be a part of something hopeful because I find that too much hopelessness has crept too deeply into the person I have no choice but to be.
I don’t know any of the people in the pictures and images I’m seeing from Egypt. I’m not sure what my connection to them is, or should be, or could be. But I am pretty sure that, yesterday, I was glued to Al Jazeera’s live coverage of what was happening in Tahrir Square — that means “Liberation Square” in Arabic, it seems — because I needed to be, and for me. A word like “Liberation” should not have become such a dead letter in my mind. I have become too cynical, too jaded, too hopeless. We become spiritually dead inside when we accept injustice, when we think that expecting it is “realistic,” and watching and being realistic about the world around me has made me a much more angry, frustrated, and bitter person than I would like to be, need to be. I suspect there are a lot of holy things I’ve forgotten how to dream, a lot of words for “freedom” that I’ve lost or misplaced. And that’s the reason why — since I wasn’t here — I can’t stay away from my tiny, tenuous connection to what’s happening in Egypt right now, this fragile cord that connects me to Al Jazeera, to Mona Eltahawy, to that guy who was dancing on top of that troop transport truck sometime yesterday morning. That’s why these pictures and images and possibilities mean so much to me, even so far away as they are.
zunguzungu 
Great post. I forgot that the word “revolution” could still have meaning.
This is neither here nor there, but I wondered if you had a stance on the Atlantic Tech’s publishing of the protesters’ manual on Thursday?
How i would love a sit like that in my home .and with that view!!Well ib4m following from Portugal (the hacekr )and i think your words are exactly what i feel .January was a long month. Lost of cold and rain and full of routine days. But looking for delight is making those daus Sleep; Work; eat; more speacial
I don’t. I mean, I find it hard to imagine that anything that the Atlantic could get their hands on wouldn’t also be in the hands of the security forces, and there didn’t seem to me to be anything particularly damaging in the pictures themselves. I think the commenters on that piece were a little quick to condemn the decision to publish. Which is not to say that I think publishing was the right choice; I’m rally not sure. Alexis Madrigal was not wrong when he said (on twitter I think) that he published them because they were inspirational; I guess it’s a judgment call as to whether showing the level of organization against police violence was a greater good than the possible harm of publicizing it.
What do you think?
I think he published too soon. Yes, the images may have been powerful, but AM didn’t really get that across in the post itself, and they would have been equally powerful/inspiring the next day. Going against the wishes of the protesters in any sense just doesn’t sit well with me. I do understand both sides though. This was my post on the Atlantic website:
“While Alexis Madrigal made a bit of a hasty decision to publish these excerpts from the pamphlet last night, it is unfair to accuse him of helping the Egyptian government carry out violence against protesters. Clearly the government has other methods of gathering information besides the tech blog at the Atlantic.
It would have been helpful if Alexis had included more political and cultural context for the document and/or perspectives of Egyptians on the ground (or in touch with those on the ground). His categorization of it as “ephemera,” while technically correct, comes off as somewhat trivializing. And yes, he should have explained why he found it so important to publish the excerpts when he did, the night before the protests. But the comments here are extreme and in many cases simply unfair.”
thank you zunguzungu… from a recovering gringo.
We’re all recovering, man, those of us who aren’t in denial about it.
“the closest thing to an honorable choice that American citizens like me have is to bear witness and solidarity to the incredibly thing that is happening right now” Actually, no. The closest thing to an honorable choice is to exercise our rights as citizens to demand an end to the billions of dollars of aid given to Mubarak and other U.S. clients. Most Egyptians would appreciate that more than your ‘reverence.’
Of course. But you act like it’s a choice, and it isn’t. The Egyptian protesters are the ones making aid to client regimes embarrassing, in a way that I, as an American citizen, do not have available to me. My government doesn’t care very much what I, a disaffected California leftist, think, you know. They’ve made that pretty amazingly clear. So, when I’m talking about “reverence” for the Egyptian protests — a word you seem not to like — I am talking about support for them, precisely as a way of demanding “an end to the billions of dollars in aid given to Mubarak and other US clients.”
But do go ahead and snark (and tell me about what “most Egyptians would appreciate”) if you feel the need.
“I want to be a part of something hopeful because I find that too much hopelessness has crept too deeply into the person I have no choice but to be.”
I feel much of the same on recent events. This is incredibly beautiful, thank you so much.
Great post. Thanks.
I really appreciate this post, Aaron. If there’s a hurricane or a tsunami, we know what to do–or at least, we can think of something to do, even if sending money is not much, and is certainly not everything. But what can we do to contribute to this revolution? These brave people have more courage than I ever will. It seems like all I can do for them right now is hope–but that’s not nothing, in the face of the cynicism masquerading as pragmatism that dominates at least one side of the public debate here.
I don’t know if you’ve seen this video:
Egyptian Revolution
I wish I had the ability to express myself as you do. I totally agree with your feelings and listening to the live coverage of Al Jazeera has brought me so close to those people who are fighting for their rights.
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I think he published too soon. Yes, the images may have been powerful, but AM didn’t really get that across in the post itself, and they would have been equally powerful/inspiring the next day. Going against the wishes of the protesters in any sense just doesn’t sit well with me. I do understand both sides though. This was my post on the Atlantic website:
“While Alexis Madrigal made a bit of a hasty decision to publish these excerpts from the pamphlet last night, it is unfair to accuse him of helping the Egyptian government carry out violence against protesters. Clearly the government has other methods of gathering information besides the tech blog at the Atlantic.
It would have been helpful if Alexis had included more political and cultural context for the document and/or perspectives of Egyptians on the ground (or in touch with those on the ground). His categorization of it as “ephemera,” while technically correct, comes off as somewhat trivializing. And yes, he should have explained why he found it so important to publish the excerpts when he did, the night before the protests. But the comments here are extreme and in many cases simply unfair.”
You write that you are “under no illusions that it will do the people of Egypt any particular good for me to retweet links to articles and images and expressions of the righteous human spirit so gloriously on display in Egypt right now — much as I would like it to”
Please know that it can do good in the long run. And please keep up your excellent work. The mainstream media curiously paints a different portrait of the Egyptian protestors and there are many of us who would be blinded by their words but for your honest portrayal and the beauty of the internet. If we continue to spread the word, the truth will be hard to ignore, and perhaps truth and hope will eventually win.
[…] At zunguzungu, I have no words, but all I have is words. […]
I have a profound respect for our brothers and sisters in Egypt…our connection is one of spirit and humanity…not flesh of my flesh…nor bone of my bone…but still miraculously my own…never forget for a minute…you didn’t grow under my heart…but in it…i too am recovering…and reverent…
Well said. I have no hope. I have no faith. I just have cynical juices fueling my mortal shell. It is good that you believe in something. Keep at it.
[…] only thing to do is to pay attention and to be present. I do think that Aaron Bady says it best. Although he’s speaking particularly from the point of view of an American citizen, I agree with […]
Hi Gattina i intended to link here for the first time, but the Linky is so dinffreet from those i used before in other memes. I don’t know how to do it here. I envy your trip to Egypt, by the way!
[…] in world events from afar. Whether this helps or not is hard to say, but I’ll leave you with this quote by Aaron Bady: I am under no illusions that it will do the people of Egypt any particular good for me to retweet […]
So I just read this – deeply moving stuff, Aaron. Thanks for getting to the emotional heart of this, for all of us non-Egyptians.
One thing to add: one big takeaway for me re Egypt is knowing that these protests didn’t happen overnight. Many of the reports I’ve been reading point to numerous precedents, from union strikes to individual acts of courage by bloggers and activists, that laid the path to Tahrir. Often, these actions were met with the same indifference and hopelessness many of us feel here in the US. But the Egyptian example shows me that they do have a cumulative effect.
In fact, it may be better than we think. Just last weekend, 1000 people protested the Koch Brothers summit in Palm Springs. Those are GREAT numbers which put the conservative political investment class on notice. We can build on this, and should. If it happened in Egypt, it can happen anywhere, even here. This is what I am beginning to believe.